In my search for the best food, the most exciting places to go, and to immerse myself in the culture of the amazing country that I have been to, I have encountered one really important aspect of Turkey that many other exchange students haven’t. I am speaking about family. Forget that on every single official form that you have to fill out for Turkey there is a small and inconspicuous box for your religion or that it claims to be a secular country. Forget that here Christmas is not seen as a holiday and there are classes that are held on it. Though it kind of makes you miss the stereotypical white Christmas that is the norm in the states. Forget there are many New Years decorations to help offset this. Forget the colorful lights, icicles, New Years trees, and commercial ventures by companies to sap people for as much money as they can. It’s the family ties that I see that give me a small slice of home in this far away land. Because we don’t have our families here we band together to generate a small sense of normalcy. This of course culminated in the exchange student’s wonderful Christmas dinner before we all parted ways. Even on the small scale that we did it, it helped fill the missing part in our hearts; our families. None of the exchange students can remember spending a Christmas apart for their families nor would they want to.
Traveling to Ankara by train on Christmas day to visit my friend Ekim helped me fill this void in my own special way. Seeing a sense of familliarness as well as belonging, I stayed with her and her family for two days, laughing, eating, dancing, and enjoying the family time that we spent together. Even if it was short and even though I was working on my Seljuk paper for a great deal of the time, I still had a wonderful time connecting with her and her family. Eating dinner with her family at an amazing fish restaurant in Ankara (weird because Ankara is completely landlocked), was complimented by the gratuitous amounts of nuts and fruits that came my way from the infamous Turkish Hospitality. After sitting down for breakfast together with her family, enjoying the delicious sour cherry jam Ekim had made for me, her father asked me, kind of out of the blue, how did Turkey compare with the United States? There was only one thing that came to mind; Family. I tried to express to him that in America, or at least in my family, we lacked the togetherness that I have witnessed here in Turkey. No matter how far someone might be, they always feel right next to you here. He expressed that family was the base stone for which this country was founded. With a strong foundation on family, the country has turned from a land of peasants and sultans, to a world power in just under 100 years. Tying his own family history as well as meeting his wife and forging a future for his family out of the education that he received was truly an inspiring story. I was humbled by his statement and his history. It made me recall my own mothers tale of traveling far and wide and overcoming adversity at every step in order to make a future for herself and eventually making it to America.
For the New Year, most of my Turkish friends told me that they were going to spend New Years with their families; it struck me as a little odd. In America, we celebrated year after year with our friends. It wasn’t any different for us being here because we would celebrate New Years with our friends. It struck me then with the full force that Ekim’s father imparted to me. The reason that my Turkish friends went to celebrate New Years with their families wasn’t because they were obligated, it was because they had their families here and because their society and their culture was based on the togetherness of their family. I cannot say that just because we did not have our families here we would not enjoy ringing in the New Year. In fact, we had created our own family from the people who also could not be with their families. We decided to have a more toned down celebration focusing more on the actual night rather than on where we would be going. That being the case we celebrated together under the Bosphorus Bridge in a small neighborhood of Istanbul called Ortaköy. From the sea side, we watched the fireworks shot from numerous ferries crossing the water with about a 1000 other people who had the same thoughts as we did. With the waves splashing and the sounds of distant fireworks, the Bridge lit up with thousands of flashing lights. After saying our well wishes and sharing our memories of the past year, we decided to ring in the New Year the only way we knew how; dancing! After dancing until the early morning, I finally made it back to my bed the next day. I can say that 2009 was definitely a good year filled with the memories of love, friendship, hope, and success. While I bid adieu to last year, I am looking forward to the promise of 2010 in front of me with all that it has to offer and with a new focus of the importance of family in whatever shape it might take.
Until next time,
you are what you eat, and I am eating in the company of my new family!
JMMD
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