Last Little Bits - Culture-Shock

Before I left Turkey, I thought that I would be the last person who would be dealing with culture-shock. Honestly, I thought that I would be able to adapt to anything after coming back from Turkey, but after coming back to America, I am not so sure of that.

Everyday, I see my friends they ask me how my semester was and then they ask me where I went. After I tell them Turkey, they all were thankful that I returned from the 'Middle East' safely. -forehead slap- It has gotten so tiresome correcting my family and friends as well as pointing to where Turkey is in relation to the Middle East and not actually part of it. But I digress... My answer to the former question fluctuates between "the most incredible experience of my life" and "the worst part of it was having to come back." When I say this, I immediatly have to recoil with their second question that almost certainly comes after I say that. "Tell me about it," (mind you that even television or cliff notes can't summarize four months of events in 5 minutes.) I tell them, sorry friend, I need more than just seeing you in passing to tell you about the new foods that I ate, the new language that I learned, the people that I met, the trips that I took, the adventures that I had, the places that I lived, the culture that I learned, the history that I experienced, and the sheer joy that I had through it all; and that isn't even talking about the classes that I took. (btw the classes that I took were harder than the Rice classes, because believe it or not, most of the classes that I took were masters courses and my professors were actually harder on the international students than the local students. Thanks Redford)

I made friends who were students, I made friends who were graduate students, and I even made friends of peoples family members. Being introduced to people's family like Candan's father, to Sema's mom, and to Ekim's family was as important to me as meeting the president of the US because of the fact that they went out of their way to arrange a meeting with the person they respect the most.  I would also add that my outgoing personality helped me meet a great deal of people and my brave new world mentality helped me to always look forward to the new and changing things in my life.  I still have to say that Yasımın and Dorukhan were the best mentors and my best friends. From chocolate parties to entering keyif by smoking nargile on top of Sariyer, they showed me so much of their lives. It was not enough for me to just have the new experiences but to cherish them, because, sadly, they would not last forever no matter how much I wanted them to.

The fast paced nature of American society made the week that I have been here fly by and what once might have been 2 days in Turkey seems like so much shorter here. Everything there moved in its own time. I aptly named it Türk Saat, but it had its own variations from person to person (Sema Saat) as well as in traveling to get somewhere as well. The time that it took to get something done was not based solely on schedules and machines. It was based on people and their relation with other people. Things happened when they happened and they happened in their own time. It might have been a bit slower than I wanted them to happen, but waiting made them that much more appealing.

Finishing my last final and going out for a good bye drink with my friend Canan, was a real heart jerker because it was one of those evenings where you are forced to remember. I will always hold that night dear. Even working until the last day, packing my entire life up in a few short hours,  and having to battle a snow storm to leave was an experience. Having my first snowball fight as I was leaving campus for the last time and even overcoming vertigo for a breathtaking view of Istanbul that night as it covered in snow during the freak blizzard when I climbed the Galata tower. All of these experences were defined by their location within the finite.

I did not get the opportunity to live with a host family in country, but people took me in and introduced me to their families. I had conversations with mothers, fathers, siblings, and friends of my friends. This is something, that I am sure of, most of the other exchange students didn't even think about. It was all thanks to the language. Unfortunately, I didn't know Turkish before I left for Turkey, but I studied hard, I asked my friends to teach me, I asked for extra practice, and I went out and I used the new found language that I learned. Sadly, very few people that I meet now either speak Turkish or know that I speak Turkish now. What once was something I was proud of (a yabanci speaking Turkish) seems to have degraded into what I dare say is almost a useless skill here. Here, I do not have to speak to the dolmuş driver in Turkish to tell him where I want to go, I do not have to speak to the vendors in the Pazar in Turkish to buy fruits and vegetables for dinner (if there were any Pazars here...), I do not have to converse with my friends who don't speak English confidently enough or are tired from speaking a foreign language in Turkish, or speak with the cleaning staff sharing my life and quelling their curiosity of me in Turkish. I miss it. It seems like a part of me has died.

I find myself coping with this by being in the kitchen daily, like I was in S-dorm. Luckily, I had friends like Sema, Fatoş, and Melody to help me eat it. I have been home for exactly one week and the number of Turkish dishes that I have made is more than 10. It's my own little way to grieve I guess or a better word would be to cope. Either way, mom doesn't seem to mind and I am still losing weight, so it can't be all too bad.

I guess the hardest thing about returning to the US is that there is nothing for me here. I have finished with my degrees, I have quit both my jobs, I am not going to school, my friends are all taking classes and I have very little money. I guess the prospects of having a job in Turkey and making a life for me was more of a dream compared to the dim reality of what I would find when I returned.  Everyone's got to have hope I guess. Also, the closeness is gone. The physical contact with other people just seems so foreign to people living here. Random people guys+girls giving you hugs or kissing you on the cheek; the lack of personal space, and the genuine interest in how you are are not here. It feels a little backwards here after learning to like it in country.

Either way, I believe that mom has said it best and conveyed my feelings in words when she said, "Four months isn't long enough; it's only good for a taste. You needed to stay longer, but sadly it wasn't meant to be." How true she is.

You are what you eat,
and I am remembering every last bit

Thanks for reading!

JMMD

Unwritten

Everything left up to chance. Here a coin flip and the flick of a pen define where I will be and what I will do. Either I leave in 2 days or I'm here for 7 more months. It's a little all or nothing, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

"The future belongs to those of us who are still willing to get our hands dirty!"
I'm willing. I am able. I will do what I have to. Do not underestimate me!
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

I didn't get it, but I took a chance and that was good enough. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. :)

See you when I get back to Houston.

Job(less)

So last week I got a really nice little email from career services here on Koç campus that said that I had an interview at an Aerospace and simulation company here in Turkey. After dropping my resume off to them on a whim, I had landed an interview with a small but reputable company here in Turkey. One problem: the interview was scheduled during my Turkish final. After a fair bit of freaking out and then 50 mins of taking care of business and getting my interview rescheduled for Monday, I was back on stable ground.

The interview was the complete opposite of the trouble that it took to get there. Rainy, cold, windy weather closed the sea bus and an unfortunate series of events that canceled all the dolmuşes to the Asian side would have really ticked me off if I hadn't left 3 and a half hours before my interview. 2 taxis, a minibus, a bus, and a conversation with my maker I arrived suited up and ready for my interview.

Upon getting there a man who looked remarkably like my Robotics professor started the interview in the elevator on the way up to the office. Little did I know, that my interviewer was his little brother. -It really is a small world- This make the 3rd person in his family I have met (the second was my Robotics professor's wife, aka my Systems of Vibrations professor). With the way things are going, I am just waiting for an introduction to the kids so they can call me uncle Jordan. 3.25 hours later and a lunch on the company they ask me to name a price.

I've decided on a pretty nice sum. I will tell them tomorrow. Let's see how this turns out...

Family: The Key To Turkey’s Success

In my search for the best food, the most exciting places to go, and to immerse myself in the culture of the amazing country that I have been to, I have encountered one really important aspect of Turkey that many other exchange students haven’t. I am speaking about family. Forget that on every single official form that you have to fill out for Turkey there is a small and inconspicuous box for your religion or that it claims to be a secular country. Forget that here Christmas is not seen as a holiday and there are classes that are held on it. Though it kind of makes you miss the stereotypical white Christmas that is the norm in the states.  Forget there are many New Years decorations to help offset this. Forget the colorful lights, icicles, New Years trees, and commercial ventures by companies to sap people for as much money as they can. It’s the family ties that I see that give me a small slice of home in this far away land. Because we don’t have our families here we band together to generate a small sense of normalcy. This of course culminated in the exchange student’s wonderful Christmas dinner before we all parted ways. Even on the small scale that we did it, it helped fill the missing part in our hearts; our families. None of the exchange students can remember spending a Christmas apart for their families nor would they want to.

Traveling to Ankara by train on Christmas day to visit my friend Ekim helped me fill this void in my own special way. Seeing a sense of familliarness as well as belonging, I stayed with her and her family for two days, laughing, eating, dancing, and enjoying the family time that we spent together. Even if it was short and even though I was working on my Seljuk paper for a great deal of the time, I still had a wonderful time connecting with her and her family. Eating dinner with her family at an amazing fish restaurant in Ankara (weird because Ankara is completely landlocked), was complimented by the gratuitous amounts of nuts and fruits that came my way from the infamous Turkish Hospitality. After sitting down for breakfast together with her family, enjoying the delicious sour cherry jam Ekim had made for me, her father asked me, kind of out of the blue, how did Turkey compare with the United States? There was only one thing that came to mind; Family. I tried to express to him that in America, or at least in my family, we lacked the togetherness that I have witnessed here in Turkey. No matter how far someone might be, they always feel right next to you here. He expressed that family was the base stone for which this country was founded. With a strong foundation on family, the country has turned from a land of peasants and sultans, to a world power in just under 100 years. Tying his own family history as well as meeting his wife and forging a future for his family out of the education that he received was truly an inspiring story. I was humbled by his statement and his history. It made me recall my own mothers tale of traveling far and wide and overcoming adversity at every step in order to make a future for herself and eventually making it to America.

For the New Year, most of my Turkish friends told me that they were going to spend New Years with their families; it struck me as a little odd. In America, we celebrated year after year with our friends. It wasn’t any different for us being here because we would celebrate New Years with our friends. It struck me then with the full force that Ekim’s father imparted to me. The reason that my Turkish friends went to celebrate New Years with their families wasn’t because they were obligated, it was because they had their families here and because their society and their culture was based on the togetherness of their family. I cannot say that just because we did not have our families here we would not enjoy ringing in the New Year. In fact, we had created our own family from the people who also could not be with their families. We decided to have a more toned down celebration focusing more on the actual night rather than on where we would be going. That being the case we celebrated together under the Bosphorus Bridge in a small neighborhood of Istanbul called Ortaköy. From the sea side, we watched the fireworks shot from numerous ferries crossing the water with about a 1000 other people who had the same thoughts as we did. With the waves splashing and the sounds of distant fireworks, the Bridge lit up with thousands of flashing lights. After saying our well wishes and sharing our memories of the past year, we decided to ring in the New Year the only way we knew how; dancing! After dancing until the early morning, I finally made it back to my bed the next day. I can say that 2009 was definitely a good year filled with the memories of love, friendship, hope, and success. While I bid adieu to last year, I am looking forward to the promise of 2010 in front of me with all that it has to offer and with a new focus of the importance of family in whatever shape it might take. 

Until next time,

you are what you eat, and I am eating in the company of my new family!

 

JMMD